When they start the game, they don’t yell, “Work ball.” They say, “Play ball.”
~Willie Stargell 1981~

Now I am the last person to feel qualified to give parenting advice. I often look like Linda Blair with my head spinning round and green slime coming out of my mouth. So instead of me actually giving you advice – I am giving myself 10 pointers that will keep me from permanently damaging my kid and also from being one of “those” parents. And for “those” parents – you know who you are – CHILL!!! Not only are you driving your kid nuts – but you make me want to slug you in public (lol). I have coached quite a few teams and spent most of my early 20s (seems like forever ago) working with youth sports. I do know a few things – but let me tell you – things are so different when it is your kid! So here goes:

1. The coach is a volunteer. If you don’t have anything nice to say – SHUT UP!
2. The referees aren’t perfect – youth sports don’t have “instant playback” and they are not trying to make bad calls. S&%t happens – comprende?
3. Kids will have crappy days – who doesn’t? Do we need to tell them they are playing lousy when they already know it.
4. If you didn’t sign up to coach the team – sit down and SHUT UP!
5. Your kid isn’t the only one on the team!
6. If your kid isn’t being played enough or at the right position – talk to the coach without your child or other parents around.
7. It is OK to cheer for a kid on the other team who plays well!
8. You will have a better chance of winning the lottery than your kid getting a college scholarship or going pro. Chill!
9. If your kid isn’t having fun and loving the sport – what is the point? There might be something else they are better suited for.
10. Make sure to tell your kid (even if they stunk up the field) that they did something good that day. “Little Lazlo, your really hustled to get on the plate in the 2nd inning – good job.”

***SFW (safe for work) video

*** This post can be read on NOLA.com & Kiss My Gumbo.com