I have so much going on in my little head these days that sometimes the only way for me to get some peace is to write it down. Remember, blogging has ALWAYS been my free therapy (said that from day 1 -almost 5 years ago).Yes, I do it publicly, but I’m just not a private person. For those who know me personally or have read my babble in the past, you are not surprised by my candor.
You see, for the past 2 plus years, I’ve been searching for my identity. For the 13 years up until we moved here in January of 2007, I’ve focused on being a mom & military wife (and done them both pretty darn well). I enjoyed every moment in my roles and did not have time to stop to consider anything different. Since moving here, I hit the ground running with so many new adventures and opportunities. No regrets. But what is my measure of success? What is the plan for me? What is my true identity?
September was my self-imposed month of drastic change. If things did not go as planned (that plan was in my head), I promised myself to change gears. So let’s take inventory of what I have right now: 3 healthy & happy kids, a loving husband, a nice home, a life where I don’t have to work outside the home, a full-time volunteer job supporting the troops, a radio show, my blogs, an on-line life & presence, my education and my health. Wow – why want more or want things to change?
Well, this week in particular, a lot of things have happened, good and bad that have allowed me to step back and take inventory a little more closely. Yes, I’m still in the process of trying to join the Army. Yes, I have 2 job applications in and neither are looking promising. Does making income measure success? Well no – at least not to some extent. But here I am, 41 and am finding myself very restless and taking inventory again. Re-evaluating situations is a normal human reaction (I hope). I kept thinking if I tried enough things, something would eventually fall in my lap. Guess that is not going to happen. So I need to take my future into my own hands and really figure things out.
Today I feel like shutting off the computer permanently, walking away from all my commitments and starting fresh. But, tomorrow will be another day.
One version of my resume says, “To find employment that highlights and showcases my skills and passions.”
Hmmm “Greta’s Wild Ride” continues….hang on! Yes, I ‘m a little frustrated but I have my tiara on!