What does it take to make the front page of NOLA.com these days? The competition is tough here; rapping for politicians, stealing from Toys for Tots, having a freezer full of cash, getting quarantined in China. Nobody actually reads the shooting articles anymore – they are getting trivial (sadly) and are just headline skimmers. In order to be newsworthy in New Orleans, you have to do something Farkworthy (most political stuff here will suffice) like chew and screw.
Let’s look at our new 15 minutes too many famer, Michael Bryant of Tuscon, 36 and most likely NOT on Match.com. Michael achieved his infamy as the solo dine & dasher of NOLA.com (his Mama should be proud). He actually might use his new-found fame and free picture (compliments of the police), to beef up his Too Many Fish in The Sea profile.
Bryant is accused of pulling the stunt again at Pitre’s Restaurant in Westwego on Thursday, and at Sun Ray Grill near Gretna on Monday, according to reports. At Sun Ray, he ordered four margaritas with his cheeseburger for a total of $30.99 and then tried to sneak out of the business. The report said that Bryant was chased down and detained until police arrived.
Damn dude, I doubt those were top-shelf Margaritas. If you are going to dine for free, quit cutting corners! Bad tequila will give you a bad hangover!
Restaurants…lock your doors. He is back on the streets and I hear he is very hungry and thirsty!
Col. John Fortunato said that Bryant has been released because overcrowding at the jail requires the Sheriff’s Office to release many non-violent offenders.
I’d love to hear your own original headlines for this one!