There are three side effects of acid: enhanced long-term memory, decreased short-term memory, and I forget the third.
~Timothy Leary~

Pedro: Hey how am I driving, man?
Man Stoner: [looks around] : I think we’re parked.
~Up in Smoke – Cheech & Chong 1978~

I’m here NOLA, St. Tammany, Louisiana, world – “The Princess of Positive” (yours truly), has not let the forces of post-surgical recovery drugs drain all her brain cells (yet). Since my hysterectomy on January 2nd, I am still finding it necessary to take the pain pills, which are making me very sleepy and my dreams and thoughts deranged (even for me). I should be up to “Greta full-brain speed” in a few days (whatever the heck that is) and “full-physical speed” in 6 weeks (that seems so far away). If you would like to drop a home-cooked meal over, anytime, in the next 10 years, my husband says YES!

The past few days have been spent lying on the couch half-asleep, surfing the channels, reading neglected magazines, skimming the Times-Picayune, listening to the Mardi Gras buzz, surfing for a ball gown, surfing after-Christmas sales, & plotting my path for success in 08. Because of my goal of launching mself to some type of local stardom (with a paycheck), I felt the urge to get up in the middle of the night and write my Sunday post. If I take any time off, the Greta momentum could come to a dead halt (and I worked to dang hard over the past year to get where I am). Hey – where the heck am I? Well, right now I am actually sitting upright (pain free) at my kitchen table with a cup of coffee (haven’t had that in a few days), in my Land’s End nightgown – blogging away. While columnists such as Chris Rose (waving across NOLA.com at you Chris), already wrote their printed column for the Sunday paper. I am in my PJ’s in my kitchen writing something, hopefully entertaining, and then clicking the publish button. Blogging is so freaking amazing – I write, click publish and you get to read it instantaneously.

Back to the drugs. I have been forbidden to drive a vehicle on this medication (a good thing), but not forbidden or warned not to drive my keyboard (equally dangerous). I thought it would be fun to share a few “new” Greta ideas that were spawned from my drug haze this past week.

1. Leaving a, “You’ve been Kissed by Kiss My Gumbo” calling cards.

As you know, for the past year, I blog all things I enjoy or experience. If I had a great experience, I ask to speak to the owner or manager and then proceed to explain to them that they should expect to see something on my my personal blog and NOLA.com in the next couple of days (I started doing this as soon as I moved here last year). Usually I get the “who the heck is this strange chick” look and then I explain that I don’t get paid to write about their business, but that I like to share positive things and it can’t hurt them. They say, “Cool or thanks” while still looking at me cross-eyed. I proceed to explain that my Google ranking is very good and once I review them, most likely if they Google their business, they will find my blog. I also explain that I don’t write negative things, if I don’t like their establishment etc… I don’t write about it – period. (I should also mention that I take ads hmmmm….)

Anyhoo, my kids are getting tired of me doing this every time we are getting to ready to leave someplace, so I decided this little “calling card” would save me time and maybe even turn into something businesses look forward to getting. Who knows, but worth a try.

2. Blogging consulting on the side. Why not make a little money doing it?

“Blog” is in my daily vocabulary, it is part of my life. Paid or not to do it, I have to. As a kid I always had a diary and learned at a young age, if you don’t want somebody to know about something – NEVER write it down. Oh the horror when your little brother shares you innermost thoughts with his geeky friends after picking your pathetic lock of your journal at the bottom of your underwear drawer (worse is that they touched your underwear). Anyone can blog, but not everyone can be a blogger. For over 3 years now, I have been immersed in the world of blogging and think I have some tips to share. I have even been asked by the local FBI to teach them more about blogging for their cyber-crimes unit. Lots to think about on this one.

3. Organizing consulting.

Yes, I have a little business where I actually go and organize people’s houses for $25 an hour. I love doing it! Nothing is more rewarding to me than coming into a kitchen that does not make sense and leaving at the end of the day with an owner almost in tears because they can’t believe it is their kitchen. I really like doing the physical labor part (with my business partner), but it sure would be nice to get paid to consult people or businesses through the process once in a while instead of doing all the manual work ourselves. I would even like to electronically organize people – just saying.

4. Getting celebrity endorsements for my favorite charity, Soldiers’ Angels.

Maybe not all drug-induced thoughts are bad? This seems like an obvious thing, but it wasn’t suggested until I tool all my drugs this past week. My higher beings at Soldier’s Angels said “d’oh, why didn’t we think about this before?” Now who to get…Rachael Ray, Tom Hanks?

5. Getting paid to live blog. Would businesses actually pay for it???

Must go take some more meds and get a few more hours of sleep before the whole fam damily awakes!