Let’s talk shoe stores. If you are a woman, you love them – when you are ALONE. If you are a woman taking kids or a man shopping…it is equivalent to HELL! I have decided that shoe shopping with children is the single most miserable thing in the world! They should hand out freaking valium at the door! “Welcome to Rack Room shoes m’am, here is your complimentary Margarita and dose of valium.” And the kids, well, they should be duct taped to a chair watching Sponge Bob on a TV, while having shoes shoved on their feet by a salesperson.

Oy! I promised my daughter that if I felt better (or at least pretended I did), that I’d take her to get new sneakers. Seems Santa miscalculated her size in Heely’s and because we don’t know how to return them to the North Pole, we will have to stuff them until she grows a little more (like next week). Now mind you, it was my first time driving since my operation and I still felt like something Chulo the Stupor Dog dragged out of the garbage. So of course, when Princess Whinalot bounced out of bed Saturday morning and asked, “Mom are you feeling well enough to take me to get new sneakers?” I smiled and assured her I couldn’t wait to go (right after I poked my eyeballs with toothpicks)!

When do little 7 year olds learn about fashion? She hates Barbie (thank goodness) & gave them all to her best friend. I mean, I like clothes enough and what woman doesn’t drool over shoes like Carrie in Sex in the City, but GAH – this is ridiculous. Princess knows what she likes and what she doesn’t. And TRUST ME, if she doesn’t like it – she will not wear it! She is the kid who will spill on purpose so she has to take an “ugly shirt” off. Anyhoo, as for shoes, I told her I would get her 2 pairs-max! I taught her how to read the boxes and and find her size and how the color was written on the outside. Now, I still can’t bend over yet, so I was at the mercy of her running back and forth to a salesperson to tell me if it fit. I assured her that she could NOT wear a 12. Well when you are a chick and you really really want a shoe that they don’t have in your size – you insist that the wrong size fits perfectly! Where and when do girls learn this? With an adamant NO! you can’t wear an 11 just because they don’t have it in your size…hell broke loose. Then I looked around and noticed I was in SHOE STORE HELL!

Every parent in there was simply miserable and every kid was crying. I decided right then and there that a shoe store is the perfect meter for parenting and patience. Maybe Dr. Phil’s next pet project (after Brit Brit) could be parents trying to buy their kids a pair for shoes in hell. There is so much more that goes on in a shoe store than just buying and selling shoes. I worked in retail as a teenager, but never in shoes. And I believe that is a blessing, or I might have never been a mom!!!

3 Replies to “The shoe store- a new reality show?”

  1. I did that once and learned that it is best that I go by myself. Buy a bunch of different pairs and styles, bring them home and let her try on and pick from that. Return what she hates or doesn’t fit. Avoids all the hell!

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