It all started with a $1300 boat trailer bought 5 years ago. It is literally going to take an act of freaking Congress for me to register the boat trailer in this state. Yes, this is the very same trailer that we bought when we bought our boat at Bass Pro in Springfield, MO. Get it , buy boat off lot, trailer holds boat so we can drive away! We lived in OK at the time we bought the boat and they did not require us to register the trailer – only the boat. They didn’t give a rat’s ass about the trailer, just the boat – makes perfect sense – right???? Well…we live in LA now and we are way overdue in registering our boat and trailer in Louisiana. This is where the fun begins…it goes something like this…

December 2007 husband to me: “Honey, could you call Bass Pro and get a certified Bill of Sale? I went to the DMV today on my day off and they said I needed that so we can register it. It seems we lost ours in the move. Oh and when you get it can you bring it into the DMV and register the trailer? Here are the papers you need.”

Call Bass Pro/Tracker Marine: “We will send you something ASAP.”
Me: “Too cold to be in a rush to go to the DMV! Will wait until we really want to use it.”

February 2008 My first trip to the DMV:
DMV: “I am sorry – we said you need a certified Bill of Sale. The certified Certificate of Origin is not going to cut it. You will also need an inspection of your trailer.”
Me: “But the paper you handed my husband telling us what we needed did not say anything about the inspection.”
DMV: “But nobody signed that paper – so now you have to have it. You also may have to track down the original notary.”

Bass Pro/Tracker Marine: “You most certainly do not need a certified Bill of Sale. NO states require that at all. We will send you something else certified and that should be enough”
Corporate: “We checked with legal and the ONLY state that requires a certified bill of sale is LOUISIANA!! We will send you a certified copy.”

Greta opens Fed Ex package and it has a letter from the notary stating that she legally certifies that the copy I have of the bill of sale is verified through her office. Cool!

April 15 2008: In a nutshell (as to not bore you): Greta enters DMV with all paperwork in hand, supervisor called in, looking up trailer rules, looking up OK, meeting on the phone, question on what to charge us for tax, may need to get a certified copy of something that says I live here, need to go to the Notary and get the certified copy certified in this state- double certified (what? $10), you have to have inspection first, no you don’t need an inspection, get your inspection first then come back, we need a certified true copy of your certified bill of sale…Greta leaves the building trying to be positive.

Call Bass Pro boat sales and tell them that I need a certified true copy. Bass Pro asks if he DMV realizes that MO does not have an imprinted notary stamp? It is a certified true copy!

Go back in: Ohhhh…maybe you are on to something with this certified true copy, call supervisor, meeting in the DMV among the employees, look up more rules about registering out of state trailers…looks like we can do it but will have to mail you the copy – Greta gets checkbook out to pay $25 fee and not needing inspection (over an hour passed)…Oh no – the lien is in your husband’s name and the boat is in both your names – we can’t register it (serious folks – I was that close).

My reply: “I am just going to run the stupid ass trailer into Lake Pontchartrain and call it a day.”
Nice lady at DMV: “Let’s call your bank and see if they can fax us a copy of the lien in just your hubby’s name.”
Call bank and they say: “No way Jose’ – we’d have to refinance it to change that. Bye bye.”
Nice lady at DMV: “Let’s call Bass Pro and see if they can re-issue everything else in just your husband’s name…”
Annoyed notary at Bass Pro in MO: “Fine – you’ll get it tomorrow.”
Nice lady at DMV: “I’ll call you when I get the Fed Ex Ms. Perry.”

So tomorrow, yours truly, who has already wasted too much time on a $1300 19′ trailer that is way depreciated is supposed to go back to the DMV and finish the paperwork after the new paperwork come in. This is a serious – WTF???? Louisiana, let’s make things easier for good folks like me trying to do the right thing and register the darn boat and be legal!

Next stop – registering the boat at the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries! Oh joy!!!

***Read KMG every day on both NOLA.com and my personal blog! Be sure to mark April 19th 3:00 on your calendar for my premier radio show on WIST AM 690!