I just figured I better jump back on the vagina bandwagon some more if I want to be in the “cool kids club.” I know I know – I said no more vagina talk and I should get back to my Princess of Positive thing – but I need readers dammit. When I posted about vaginas before anyone else in NOLA (2 months ago), my boss said I made him blush (bet he is immune by now or bright red like Boudreaux drinking Tabasco straight from the bottle). And yes, vagina in the headlines brings readers (as does sex). BTW – I LOVE my readers!!! On with the post…
My mother always told me that Jewish girls should not drink beer at all, and certainly never beer out of a bottle or *aghast* a can! Well, yours truly can’t resist an ice cold bottle of brewski! I’m such a rebel. My mom never said anything about discussing my privates in public, but I always assumed “ass-u-me” that this was purely tasteless. But apparently it is cool to do it if you are a “celebrity” and cool to watch it if you…well..for some reason unbeknownst to me – want to spend some money and make a night of it. WTH??? I mean…well…each to his or her own. Yes, I was invited to go see the “V’ event and I most certainly said “no thank you (I do have manners).”
When will there be the a-hole monologues? I bet you know a family member or co-worker who could stand up on stage and deliver an entire lifetime of lectures of how to be an a-hole? Oh wait, there already is one in existence and here is the shirt (not Goatse)!!! But it is OK, since they also do it for a good cause-right???
Feeling left out this week because you aren’t attending, don’t have a vagina (or haven’t gotten one lately)? Well, have I got a few tasteless products for you.
For just $27 you can get “crochet vulva.” Truly a must have for anyone who needs useless stuff! Why not get your granny and her crochet group to start making them as gifts to give out for teacher appreciation week? Make sure your kids attach a note that says, “it is for a good cause.”
Better yet – wear these beautiful vulva earrings to Church or Synagogue or to someone’s 90th birthday party and be sure to tell everyone about your fashion statement – in case they were wondering!
Then of course, you can well, uh, become a “vagitarian.”
Hopefully we will not have a bunch of local girls proudly wearing their “vagina” shirts to school this week – OY!
I leave you with annoying Tyra while she introduces the “vulva puppet on TV.” Lord help today’s society!!!